Information Bulletin No 7

The Art of Effective Listening

In order to understand a person, you must understand the messages they deliver through their spoken word and actions. Once you have achieved this, it will then be possible for you to deliver your communication to the other party. This is one of the seven self management habits of Stephen Covey as outlined in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."
Effective listening is a natural process forming a key component of communication. Listeners have to be attentive by focusing on the needs of the speaker rather than their own needs i.e. no "let me tell you my story."

Research has shown that we think much better if some-one hears what we have to say.

Skills of effective listening

Some of the skills of effective listening are:

· Give total attention to the speaker.

· Let the person speak without interruption. Only ask probing questions when the speaker stops speaking for a prolonged period. A typical question to ask would be "How do you feel about that?" It is important to allow silent periods in a conversation to allow the speaker time to think;

· Give feedback to the speaker of both the content and their feelings of their message upon completion. This has a twofold benefit. It will confirm that you understand them. It will also enable them to hear and understand themselves from another person;

· Watch for physical signals and changes in body state. This will add to their spoken word. It will reinforce or tell you something else is happening. That is, there may be a blockage to developing the subject matter due to say "fear";

· Keep the speaker focused on the subject matter. Should they wander to another subject, then bring them back with a probing question or direct statement; and

· Watch for the feelings being expressed. If unsure, seek clarification. For example, "Did you feel angry about that?"

Breakdown in Communication

Sometimes, listening cannot be effective. This will occur when the listener becomes stimulated by the subject matter. Under these circumstances, the listener will not be able to provide their undivided attention to the speaker. More than likely, their attention will have moved to their own issues and they will no longer be an effective listener.

At such times, it is best to conclude the discussion, address the issue causing the stimulation and to recommence the discussion at a later time.

Quotation:

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

Anonymous

The Dynamic Improvements Programme offers training in effective listening techniques. It also assists the listener who has been stimulated as outlined above and offers techniques to deal with such situations.

Please contact Graeme Alford, Principal Executive/Life Coach, for further information.